Rambles from World's End

  When you hear an old well-known Christmas song, do you just hum along to the tune or do you really listen to the words? For the first two Christmases, here at World’s end I could not listen to my Christmas CDs they made me too homesick. But Christmas feels naked without Christmas songs playing on the hi-fi, so I bought a Melissa Etheridge Christmas CD, new Christmas songs new memories. For the first time I actually took the time to sit and listen to the words of the songs. I discovered that “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” a song I’ve heard every Christmas but never listened to is appropriate now especially for us living so far from all our family. ” Through the years we all will be together if the Fates allow” Like most families spread around the world, our Christmases here are quiet, but we have begun to develop our own special routines and traditions. One of these traditions is dressing the tree with homemade decorations by the Butterfly. The other is Chris...

About a week ago, I had a visitor, a rather sad visitor who needed someone to talk to, so I made some coffee, cut us a slice of chocolate crunch each, and started to listen. That’s all I could do, listen, there was nothing I could say that would make my visitor feel better. There was no inspired advice I could give that would help to radically change the situation. I have no magic wand I can wave and make things right. But oh, how I wanted to do more then just listen. Don’t you just hate that, when a friend is hurting and there is nothing you can do to help? It’s been a while since I’ve commiserated with a friend over a break up, the last two friends who got divorced I celebrated with! But with this visitor, things are different; I liked the couple I thought they worked well together. Obviously, I was wrong. In those two hours of conversation, I learnt more about my visitor then I had learnt in the past two years. I don’t know for sure if I was any help, or if my visitor left feeli...

Today my Mum asked me a question regarding our trip back home for what we have come to call our “Tropical Holiday.” I read the message, glance over at our counting worm and realised that the Butterfly had forgotten to cross off a number of days and we now only had just shy of four weeks before departure. Suddenly I had “butterflies” in my tummy just for a moment because it has dawned on me that we shall be travelling with a Lollipop in tow. It has occurred to me that when we went to buy our plane tickets I didn’t think the Lollipop would be any trouble. But then I was thinking of the Lollipop as she was then, eight months old. The reality is that the Lollipop will be just two month younger then the Butterfly was when we left South Africa. Oh, says my slow thinking brain that’s all right then because the Butterfly was an absolute gem and no trouble at all. Unfortunately, I eventually caught up with myself and reminded myself that everything the Butterfly is the Lollipop isn’t! Oh, ...

I noticed yesterday that I hadn’t posted a blog for a couple of months. I’ve been trying to work out what it is that has created this gap in my ramblings. Then I found this one... Life certainly knows how to get away from you sometimes. After the traumatic experience of the Butterfly’s first days at school and the sheer excitement when the Mauritian began his new job I looked up and we were half way through October. So much for slowing down absorbing each day    and seeing the world through the eyes of my children. With the official arrival of spring came the need to clean house and get out visiting or having visitors. We’ve managed to have weekends full of visitors but unfortunately the spring cleaning that this house so desperately needs got washed out. I have never seen so much rain, I was wondering if here at World’s end we were on our way to joining Atlantis. With so much rain comes “cabin fever.” There are only so many indoor games to play, only so many picture...

There are mornings when though his eyes are open the Mauritian is still sleeping. There are mornings when the Butterfly sits staring into space playing aimlessly with her food instead of eating it. There are mornings when the Lollipop attaches herself to my leg and will not let go no matter what. Then, there are mornings when everything happens all at once. Its mornings like these that all I want to do is wake up and discovered it was all a dream, and that I don’t have monster children or a useless spouse! In fact, its mornings like these where being alone seems to be the best way to be. I look forward to the day I can roll out of bed at whatever time I want, make breakfast and coffee for one, sit in front of the TV, and take my time about everything. Then there are those mornings when we wake up before the alarm clock or the children and the Mauritian and I can lie in and chat a bit. Plan our day together even though we will be in two different places. Drink a hot mug of coffee...

There is a line from the musical Oklahoma when Curly exclaimed in horror “Great snakes almighty!” It is a line I used repeatedly one Friday when hurricane Hollie past through my house. My ideal day starts early before anyone else wakes up when I can do the whole “shit, shower and shave” process without interruption and I can take my time. It also allows me to get breakfast ready and start the housework before the morning rush begins. Unfortunately, it is very seldom that I managed to get myself up by half past five especially in the depth of the winter. Friday, however was one of my early mornings, I was awake at four in the morning and decided to get up and start my day. By the time everyone was rushing around getting ready for school or work I had done just about everything I was required to do. So once the Butterfly was at school and the Lollipop was sitting empting her toy box and not having a muse in residence for the day I decided to clean out cupboards and draws. I did such ...

Today my Butterfly started “big School!” She overflowed with anticipation and expectation. She could not sit still she was so excited and she was far too nervous to eat.   I spend the morning desperately trying to swallow the lump in my throat and smile through this immense sadness that seemed to have engulfed me. In the shower this morning, I gave myself a good talking to and told myself off for my silliness. Our Butterfly is more than ready for school and everything that comes with it. She has the strength of character that will serve her well during those tough school days. She is a friendly and caring child who people seem drawn to and she makes friends easily. She is respectful and unafraid of authority and she communicates well. She is eager, enthusiastic and more then up for the challenge. Our Butterfly is more than “school ready” she is “school eager!” Then why am I so sad and nervous? I remember the delight I felt watching the Butterfly learn as a baby, the fascination t...