Rambles from World's End

  When you hear an old well-known Christmas song, do you just hum along to the tune or do you really listen to the words? For the first two Christmases, here at World’s end I could not listen to my Christmas CDs they made me too homesick. But Christmas feels naked without Christmas songs playing on the hi-fi, so I bought a Melissa Etheridge Christmas CD, new Christmas songs new memories. For the first time I actually took the time to sit and listen to the words of the songs. I discovered that “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” a song I’ve heard every Christmas but never listened to is appropriate now especially for us living so far from all our family. ” Through the years we all will be together if the Fates allow” Like most families spread around the world, our Christmases here are quiet, but we have begun to develop our own special routines and traditions. One of these traditions is dressing the tree with homemade decorations by the Butterfly. The other is Christmas

About a week ago, I had a visitor, a rather sad visitor who needed someone to talk to, so I made some coffee, cut us a slice of chocolate crunch each, and started to listen. That’s all I could do, listen, there was nothing I could say that would make my visitor feel better. There was no inspired advice I could give that would help to radically change the situation. I have no magic wand I can wave and make things right. But oh, how I wanted to do more then just listen. Don’t you just hate that, when a friend is hurting and there is nothing you can do to help? It’s been a while since I’ve commiserated with a friend over a break up, the last two friends who got divorced I celebrated with! But with this visitor, things are different; I liked the couple I thought they worked well together. Obviously, I was wrong. In those two hours of conversation, I learnt more about my visitor then I had learnt in the past two years. I don’t know for sure if I was any help, or if my visitor left feeli

Today my Mum asked me a question regarding our trip back home for what we have come to call our “Tropical Holiday.” I read the message, glance over at our counting worm and realised that the Butterfly had forgotten to cross off a number of days and we now only had just shy of four weeks before departure. Suddenly I had “butterflies” in my tummy just for a moment because it has dawned on me that we shall be travelling with a Lollipop in tow. It has occurred to me that when we went to buy our plane tickets I didn’t think the Lollipop would be any trouble. But then I was thinking of the Lollipop as she was then, eight months old. The reality is that the Lollipop will be just two month younger then the Butterfly was when we left South Africa. Oh, says my slow thinking brain that’s all right then because the Butterfly was an absolute gem and no trouble at all. Unfortunately, I eventually caught up with myself and reminded myself that everything the Butterfly is the Lollipop isn’t! Oh,

I noticed yesterday that I hadn’t posted a blog for a couple of months. I’ve been trying to work out what it is that has created this gap in my ramblings. Then I found this one... Life certainly knows how to get away from you sometimes. After the traumatic experience of the Butterfly’s first days at school and the sheer excitement when the Mauritian began his new job I looked up and we were half way through October. So much for slowing down absorbing each day    and seeing the world through the eyes of my children. With the official arrival of spring came the need to clean house and get out visiting or having visitors. We’ve managed to have weekends full of visitors but unfortunately the spring cleaning that this house so desperately needs got washed out. I have never seen so much rain, I was wondering if here at World’s end we were on our way to joining Atlantis. With so much rain comes “cabin fever.” There are only so many indoor games to play, only so many pictures one can

There are mornings when though his eyes are open the Mauritian is still sleeping. There are mornings when the Butterfly sits staring into space playing aimlessly with her food instead of eating it. There are mornings when the Lollipop attaches herself to my leg and will not let go no matter what. Then, there are mornings when everything happens all at once. Its mornings like these that all I want to do is wake up and discovered it was all a dream, and that I don’t have monster children or a useless spouse! In fact, its mornings like these where being alone seems to be the best way to be. I look forward to the day I can roll out of bed at whatever time I want, make breakfast and coffee for one, sit in front of the TV, and take my time about everything. Then there are those mornings when we wake up before the alarm clock or the children and the Mauritian and I can lie in and chat a bit. Plan our day together even though we will be in two different places. Drink a hot mug of coffee

There is a line from the musical Oklahoma when Curly exclaimed in horror “Great snakes almighty!” It is a line I used repeatedly one Friday when hurricane Hollie past through my house. My ideal day starts early before anyone else wakes up when I can do the whole “shit, shower and shave” process without interruption and I can take my time. It also allows me to get breakfast ready and start the housework before the morning rush begins. Unfortunately, it is very seldom that I managed to get myself up by half past five especially in the depth of the winter. Friday, however was one of my early mornings, I was awake at four in the morning and decided to get up and start my day. By the time everyone was rushing around getting ready for school or work I had done just about everything I was required to do. So once the Butterfly was at school and the Lollipop was sitting empting her toy box and not having a muse in residence for the day I decided to clean out cupboards and draws. I did such

Today my Butterfly started “big School!” She overflowed with anticipation and expectation. She could not sit still she was so excited and she was far too nervous to eat.   I spend the morning desperately trying to swallow the lump in my throat and smile through this immense sadness that seemed to have engulfed me. In the shower this morning, I gave myself a good talking to and told myself off for my silliness. Our Butterfly is more than ready for school and everything that comes with it. She has the strength of character that will serve her well during those tough school days. She is a friendly and caring child who people seem drawn to and she makes friends easily. She is respectful and unafraid of authority and she communicates well. She is eager, enthusiastic and more then up for the challenge. Our Butterfly is more than “school ready” she is “school eager!” Then why am I so sad and nervous? I remember the delight I felt watching the Butterfly learn as a baby, the fascination that

We are one week into July and after spending a beautiful winter Saturday out walking in the park teaching the Butterfly to ride her bike and attending to some of the many tasks at home I am finally able to sit quietly and reflect over the past four weeks or so. The first day of June brought with it the realisation that it was birthday month and the endlessly repeated question: “Is it my birthday tomorrow yet?”   It was also one of the busiest since the Butterfly started Kindy. There was the Kindy Disco that was the talk of the week, especially since mum was determined, that she and the Lollipop would not miss it this year. Last year I remember thinking how novel it was for the kids to have a disco and was rather looking forward to getting out of the house after those four long cold weeks after the Lollipop was born. Unfortunately the Lollipop had other ideas and changed the plans. So a very disappointed Butterfly and her Papa went without us. So with that in mind I was not going to le

Winter 2012, our fourth here at World’s end and I have begun to realise a number of things. This year the winter is the warmest one we have experienced here. Yes we have acclimatised at last, something I did not believe possible the first year here. Our wardrobe now contains winter gear suitable for the season and we sigh with pure delight as we sink rather ungracefully onto our toasty warm electric blankets. We also invested in a tumble dryer, nothing better than drying off after a shower with a toasty warm and dry towel. We had three cubic metres of wood delivered to fuel our fireplace and we have developed a system that keeps the house warm throughout the day and yes that does mean that I have mastered the art of making fire! (If this were SKYPE or my Facebook page I would insert a large smiley face here!) We have all had the inevitable sniffs, coughs and sneezes and for the first time since we meet the Mauritian and I are both suffering from a serious case of flu at the same time.

Today after arriving home from the school drop I took the Lollipop out of her pushchair gave her a bottle of juice, switch on the kettle and grabbed my yoghurt out of the refrigerator. Then I sat at my desk opened my email and began to fulfil a request from my mother to send some pictures of our family to my God Mother. I felt rather awful at having not emailed her in so long. The last time was so long ago I can’t remember when it was. So I endeavoured to ensure that I sent her some of the best pictures and made sure my email rambled enough to bring her right up to date with our goings on here at the end of the world. As always, sitting down to write a ramble is, for me, liberating and inspiring. It felt good to tell some of the old stories again and share some old photos. I got so caught up in what I was doing that I never did make my coffee or eat my breakfast. Unfortunately I also forgot about the Lollipop who was happily wondering about the place out of sight and way out of mind.

Yesterday marked the end of my thirty-ninth year and the beginning of my fortieth. It was an interesting and reflective day.   I woke up thinking: Bleh! Another birthday! This was not helped by the fact that the Mauritian had managed to forget my birthday for the second year in a row so no breakfast in bed and no birthday presents either.   Thank goodness for my lifelong friend who can be relied on to always remember and this year was the first to wish me. My Angel from Auckland made my day when she called to confirm our weekend away next month! Then my folks called on that marvellous invention called “Skype” and though it was good to talk to them I was late and consequently way behind schedule. My being behind schedule is nothing unusual but the day had been going quite well for a change. Oh well such is life!   The Mauritian did eventually remember before leaving for work so he was forgiven. It’s very hard not to forgive him when he looks at me with those puppy dog eyes and seems cl

I took my time to be kind to a stranger some months back and today that kindness was rewarded. It was a few weeks after Christmas that the Lollipop and I took a stroll down to the supermarket for supplies. The Lollipop as always sat quietly in her pram happily looking at the world go by and smiling at anyone who paid her attention. So it was not out of the ordinary when an elderly lady bends down to talk to her while I was scouring the shelves for whatever it was. However when I turned back this poor lady was still talking to Lollipop with tears rolling unabated down her cheeks. I’m not good with strangers and if I cannot avoid it I try very hard to make my get away as quickly and as politely as possible and here was an elderly lady crying I didn’t know how I was going to get out of this one. I realised this was not the time for a polite “have a nice day” and smile as I walked away so I thank the powers that be that I had tissues in my bag and handed one to her without saying a word.

The Butterfly never draws pictures or makes cards for me; whatever she does she does for her favourite parent! The Mauritian’s bed side draw is filled to bursting with drawings and cards she had made for him over the years, he will not throw a single one away. I think it’s really cute, I remember how special it felt giving something I drew or made to my clever dad, he always made me feel like it was the best gift he had ever received. I know the Butterfly feels exactly the same way because the Mauritian is always so enthusiastic about her little gifts. I remember too looking through my clever dad’s bedside cupboard for something and finding numerous birthday and father’s day cards I made him through the years. After the initial feelings of embarrassment and wondering why he still had those silly things I realised hey he’s kept them all regardless of how awful they were. Now that’s an awesome realisation and one I treasure still. There really is something very special about the relation

One morning the Lollipop was driving her mother a little more dilly than she already is, because this morning despite her mother’s best efforts the Lollipop decided she was not going down for a morning nap! Finally after an hour of trying, what patience I do have completely disappeared and I gave up. I took Lollipop out of the cot put her on her bedroom floor and left her there to go and do the chores that needed doing. After following me up and down the passage a few times she finally decided I meant it when I said I wasn't talking to her and she must go away. She made her way into her sister’s bedroom and had a marvellous time pulling everything she could reach out the book case into the middle of the floor all the while squealing with sheer delight! I know she was thinking: “Right! Mother its payback time!” So just when I was looking forward to a few moments of quiet before heading out to collect the Butterfly I was instead cleaning up the Lollipop’s mess. Oh the joys of being

So it suddenly dawns on me that I’m not going to get away with not baking cakes and other tasty morsels for long. I have rather a lot of children’s birthdays ahead of me and the Mauritian made a comment that he wouldn’t get away with not taking eats for his birthday again. So I finally face the reality that as a “Stay at Home Mum” or “SAHM” for short I really had no excuse not to at least attempt to bake. So I whipped out my recipe books- yes I actually do own a few and I have used them on occasion stop laughing- and looked for some easy basic recipes, bought the ingredients and so began my foray into baking. Oh me oh my we had some very yummy successes and some rather hysterical failures. The worst was the baking powder fiasco! With all due respect to my “Kiwi” readers, kiwi baking powder does not work in SA recipes. I tell you no lies, I tried three different cupcake recipes and two different cake recipes and though they cooked properly and tasted gorgeous they did not rise in