Little Pieces of Cloth

I sorted through my Butterfly’s clothes and put aside all those that no longer fit her. What a sad moment that was for me! Tears pricked my eyes and I sadly put to one side the little blue and pink tracksuits my very talented mum had sewed so lovingly for her. It brought back memories of the trek to find suitable fabric in order to make the garments. I remember how irresistibly cute my Butterfly looked in them and her new winter and summer pyjamas made for her all around the same period. They were fresh and new and far too big for her, but that made them all the more charming.

There is a baby grow that has written across it “We love you Sarah-Marie” a pink polka dot outfit with a rabbits tail at the back and a little teddy bear peering out a pocket on the front and a blue and red “tie dyed” t-shirt that Butterfly wore a lot. They came, along with Butterfly’s favourite blanket, from my brother and my delightful sister-in-law in America, how can I give these away to someone else or sell them. I am far too sentimental for that. There is also a beautiful pick dress with jacket and bonnet, a gift from my Irish aunt that Butterfly wore on her first Christmas and sadly to her Great Grandmother’s funeral, not forgetting a pair of pink floral bloomers from yet another aunt. How do I give away these gifts that meant so much to me, the gesture of love shown to me by these simple gifts went straight to my heart and are something I will treasure for life? There is the dress my very talented mum made for my Baptism that Butterfly never got to wear, and the bibs crocheted for her by my mum that were too pretty for her to wear. Each item has a memory attached to it and though they sit taking up room in my Kist and gathering dust I cannot bring myself to part from them. To hand them on to stranger feels to me like I am handing over my memories, an illogical sentiment that I seemed unable to get past.

Four months ago my little baby brother and my favourite “Eeyore” informed me that my extended family would soon be increased by one in late March next year. I now know that this new addition will be a niece and I couldn’t be more pleased. I opened my Kist today and from it I took all the little outfits that I could not part with, all the little blankets that even after many washes are still soft to the touch and all the little pairs of shoes that Butterfly grew out of so quickly. I could now hand them on. With the exception of the baby grow with her name on and the baptism dress, I will box up all the other little outfits and pass them on to my brand new niece. I can do it so easily because each outfit represents a memory of the Butterfly for my brother and “Eeyore” and I know they miss her. It will be a while before I will meet my niece and the Butterfly her cousin so these little pieces of cloth will in some way connect us all in a circle of memories.