Compulsively Perfect Obsession
I had made a comment on my “Facebook” page about the Mauritian, saying something along the lines of his “compulsion” for perfection was bordering on “obsessive.” This sparked a “conversation” between me, my Angel and my new friend about “OCD.” I have always wondered at the Mauritian’s insistence that anything he cooks or builds must be absolutely perfect and the smallest, unnoticeable mistake will infuriate and annoy him to a point where he will not enjoy the food or whatever it is he has done. I think he goes a little overboard and when he rants and raves I just roll my eyes, mutter under my breath and walk away from him. I like how his food tastes I don’t care what it looks like and the woodwork or drawings he has done look brilliant as far as I’m concerned, he disagrees a lot of the time.
My Angel and my new friend between them seem to have a rather long list of compulsions. According to them, there is only one way the toilet roll should go on to the dispenser. Towels, sheets and pillow cases should all be folded the same way. Clothes are hung on the line with the same colour pegs, clothes hangers must all face the same way in the closet, oh and while you’re at it make sure all the hangers are the same colour. Then there are the stories you hear about people who sort their CD’s, DVD’s and books alphabetically and chronologically according to colour and size. Oh and what about those people that have to replace whole dinner sets when one plate gets broken? Now don’t get me wrong I am all for “a place for everything and everything in its place” but does it really matter which way its facing or that it’s not placed in exactly the same place each time?
My new friend said “Things make you feel good when they are right!” and in a way I do agree, but no one except her will notice the pegs all match on the line, the clothes certainly don’t care and as for which way the toilet roll is, well, need I say it? Though I agree that when a clothes hanger in facing inwards it is easier to get the hanger in and out the closet, does it really matter what colour they are? Again, no one else will notice and the clothes don’t care. I know that when food is tastefully presented it does somehow taste better, but surely there is no difference to the taste if the omelette breaks a little and the inside falls out? I’m wondering is it just me or does someone out there agree that trying to ensure this kind of absolute perfection is really just creating unnecessary stress for one’s self. Strangely enough both my Angel and the Kiwi agree with me and have admitted to trying not to be bothered by these things even though it’s not easy to “change a leopard’s spots.”
My advice: Don’t try and change the spots, try living with them without obsessing about them. You are never going to be able to not put the toilet roll on the "right" way so the trick is to just change it when someone else gets it wrong and not work yourself up by thinking other people just don’t care. We do, we just don’t see the point and the truth is there is no point it’s just an obsession.
I even have a great story about a chap I worked with that was obsessively neat but never let it create stress. He was so obsessive even the papers thrown in his waste paper basket were neat. I used to get such a kick out of mucking up his desk. He would come back from his lunch break or a meeting to an untidy desk and the only indication of any stress was his one raised eyebrow. No matter how many times a day I messed up his desk he'd just quietly tidy it up. This happened almost daily and I worked with him for 5 years. Then one day he retaliated and tidied my desk, I couldn’t find a thing! Needless to say that created an over abundance of stress for me and a whole lot of laughs for him.
Anyway, my point is everyone has some kind of obsession it’s really just the degree of obsession that differs. It’s how we deal with other people’s reactions to our obsessions that cause the stress and unhappiness. My colleagues’ calm response to my incessant interference of his desk was what spurred me on to keep doing it and what made his retaliation so memorable and amusing.
I would enjoy rearranging my Angel’s perfectly packed cupboards or turning the hangers around in the Kiwi’s closet, but I won’t because even though I know they would try laugh it off it would drive them both to the edges of insanity and the truth is, despite their “OCD” tendencies, I really do like them.
My Angel and my new friend between them seem to have a rather long list of compulsions. According to them, there is only one way the toilet roll should go on to the dispenser. Towels, sheets and pillow cases should all be folded the same way. Clothes are hung on the line with the same colour pegs, clothes hangers must all face the same way in the closet, oh and while you’re at it make sure all the hangers are the same colour. Then there are the stories you hear about people who sort their CD’s, DVD’s and books alphabetically and chronologically according to colour and size. Oh and what about those people that have to replace whole dinner sets when one plate gets broken? Now don’t get me wrong I am all for “a place for everything and everything in its place” but does it really matter which way its facing or that it’s not placed in exactly the same place each time?
My new friend said “Things make you feel good when they are right!” and in a way I do agree, but no one except her will notice the pegs all match on the line, the clothes certainly don’t care and as for which way the toilet roll is, well, need I say it? Though I agree that when a clothes hanger in facing inwards it is easier to get the hanger in and out the closet, does it really matter what colour they are? Again, no one else will notice and the clothes don’t care. I know that when food is tastefully presented it does somehow taste better, but surely there is no difference to the taste if the omelette breaks a little and the inside falls out? I’m wondering is it just me or does someone out there agree that trying to ensure this kind of absolute perfection is really just creating unnecessary stress for one’s self. Strangely enough both my Angel and the Kiwi agree with me and have admitted to trying not to be bothered by these things even though it’s not easy to “change a leopard’s spots.”
My advice: Don’t try and change the spots, try living with them without obsessing about them. You are never going to be able to not put the toilet roll on the "right" way so the trick is to just change it when someone else gets it wrong and not work yourself up by thinking other people just don’t care. We do, we just don’t see the point and the truth is there is no point it’s just an obsession.
I even have a great story about a chap I worked with that was obsessively neat but never let it create stress. He was so obsessive even the papers thrown in his waste paper basket were neat. I used to get such a kick out of mucking up his desk. He would come back from his lunch break or a meeting to an untidy desk and the only indication of any stress was his one raised eyebrow. No matter how many times a day I messed up his desk he'd just quietly tidy it up. This happened almost daily and I worked with him for 5 years. Then one day he retaliated and tidied my desk, I couldn’t find a thing! Needless to say that created an over abundance of stress for me and a whole lot of laughs for him.
Anyway, my point is everyone has some kind of obsession it’s really just the degree of obsession that differs. It’s how we deal with other people’s reactions to our obsessions that cause the stress and unhappiness. My colleagues’ calm response to my incessant interference of his desk was what spurred me on to keep doing it and what made his retaliation so memorable and amusing.
I would enjoy rearranging my Angel’s perfectly packed cupboards or turning the hangers around in the Kiwi’s closet, but I won’t because even though I know they would try laugh it off it would drive them both to the edges of insanity and the truth is, despite their “OCD” tendencies, I really do like them.
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