The Secret is Out
Nineteen weeks to go and it’s a girl! If you didn’t know that by now, where have you been? We’ve even settled on a name, and again for those of you who haven’t being paying attention we shall be naming our new daughter “Hollie Patricia”
What has amused me most about this whole process of finding out the sex and naming her is the vested interest that so many people seem to have in the outcome. My lifelong friend was not afraid to voice her dislike of some of the names I mentioned, though it has to be said that some of her suggestions almost had me in therapy. You can imagine the pea cocking that’s been going on though since she discovered we had decided to go with her suggestion for the second name. I spent the first twenty weeks going on about not knowing if I want to know the sex or not and throwing names out at people just for their reactions. My eldest niece is now glowing with pride that we chose to go with her suggestion for the first name, it was not a name I would’ve chosen on my own so I will allow my niece her moment of glory. I even got a thrill out of threatening my favourite Eeyore that I wasn't going to tell her a thing in revenge for not being told Sprouts name before she was born. At no point did I have any intention of not finding out or of keeping it secret. Firstly getting the Mauritian to play along would not have been possible, he sees no point in that at all. Secondly for me the effort of pretending and secret keeping is just not worth it really. I’m pretty good at keeping the confidences of my friends but useless at keeping my own secrets, I always slip up somewhere. We had decided right at the beginning of the pregnancy to find out the sex because, well in all honestly, because we could. In the end knowing the sex of the baby doesn’t take away from the birth experience and there was always the chance that the doctor would not be able to see the sex on the scan anyway.
With both pregnancies when I asked to be told the one thing I did say was to be told the sex only if there was absolute certainty. With the Butterfly the doctor didn’t hesitate, but this time round it was a different story. She was not so keen to give up her secret and we were very close to coming home none the wiser to the sex. We had been in the room for close on half an hour and all of us were getting restless and ready to end the consultation when the Doctor suggested she have one more look. I think the reason she suggested it was that she saw the look of disappointment of the Mauritian’s face. We had made the decision that after this scan we would not have any more scans unless there was a medical reason to do so, so this scan was in a sense the only chance we would have to know the sex. I was on the verge of telling the doctor not to worry, I was hot, tired and sore from all the pressing and prodding for the past half hour, but the Mauritian was very quick to agree with the doctor so I gave in. It was all worth it in the end when the doctor said “It’s a girl!” because the smile that lit up the Mauritians face could have powered New Plymouth for a month. On our way home that afternoon the Mauritian said he was really happy about having another daughter because he wasn't sure he was ready for a son. It may just be that he feels used to dealing with a girl and feels more at ease and ready for another one, though in truth I’m not sure he realises just how different the babe will be from her sister. I am also very happy to have another girl, as my talented mother said a boy just doesn’t seem to fit our family dynamic. I can’t help becoming nostalgic though and wondering if the child we lost might not have been a boy and if I will ever miss having a son. But there is no going backwards and looking back doesn’t change the now so the “what ifs” and so on serve no useful purpose.
So for the second half of the pregnancy we will be preparing for the arrival of another perfect little girl. I am sure friends and family will be shopping for anything pink, though I would prefer to avoid it if possible. I will be hauling out of storage those little outfits of the Butterfly’s that I could not part with, happy that they will get more wear and hoping I will be able to part with them once they have been out grown.
What has amused me most about this whole process of finding out the sex and naming her is the vested interest that so many people seem to have in the outcome. My lifelong friend was not afraid to voice her dislike of some of the names I mentioned, though it has to be said that some of her suggestions almost had me in therapy. You can imagine the pea cocking that’s been going on though since she discovered we had decided to go with her suggestion for the second name. I spent the first twenty weeks going on about not knowing if I want to know the sex or not and throwing names out at people just for their reactions. My eldest niece is now glowing with pride that we chose to go with her suggestion for the first name, it was not a name I would’ve chosen on my own so I will allow my niece her moment of glory. I even got a thrill out of threatening my favourite Eeyore that I wasn't going to tell her a thing in revenge for not being told Sprouts name before she was born. At no point did I have any intention of not finding out or of keeping it secret. Firstly getting the Mauritian to play along would not have been possible, he sees no point in that at all. Secondly for me the effort of pretending and secret keeping is just not worth it really. I’m pretty good at keeping the confidences of my friends but useless at keeping my own secrets, I always slip up somewhere. We had decided right at the beginning of the pregnancy to find out the sex because, well in all honestly, because we could. In the end knowing the sex of the baby doesn’t take away from the birth experience and there was always the chance that the doctor would not be able to see the sex on the scan anyway.
With both pregnancies when I asked to be told the one thing I did say was to be told the sex only if there was absolute certainty. With the Butterfly the doctor didn’t hesitate, but this time round it was a different story. She was not so keen to give up her secret and we were very close to coming home none the wiser to the sex. We had been in the room for close on half an hour and all of us were getting restless and ready to end the consultation when the Doctor suggested she have one more look. I think the reason she suggested it was that she saw the look of disappointment of the Mauritian’s face. We had made the decision that after this scan we would not have any more scans unless there was a medical reason to do so, so this scan was in a sense the only chance we would have to know the sex. I was on the verge of telling the doctor not to worry, I was hot, tired and sore from all the pressing and prodding for the past half hour, but the Mauritian was very quick to agree with the doctor so I gave in. It was all worth it in the end when the doctor said “It’s a girl!” because the smile that lit up the Mauritians face could have powered New Plymouth for a month. On our way home that afternoon the Mauritian said he was really happy about having another daughter because he wasn't sure he was ready for a son. It may just be that he feels used to dealing with a girl and feels more at ease and ready for another one, though in truth I’m not sure he realises just how different the babe will be from her sister. I am also very happy to have another girl, as my talented mother said a boy just doesn’t seem to fit our family dynamic. I can’t help becoming nostalgic though and wondering if the child we lost might not have been a boy and if I will ever miss having a son. But there is no going backwards and looking back doesn’t change the now so the “what ifs” and so on serve no useful purpose.
So for the second half of the pregnancy we will be preparing for the arrival of another perfect little girl. I am sure friends and family will be shopping for anything pink, though I would prefer to avoid it if possible. I will be hauling out of storage those little outfits of the Butterfly’s that I could not part with, happy that they will get more wear and hoping I will be able to part with them once they have been out grown.
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