"Post Date" The Blue's and the Remedies

Forty weeks three days and still pregnant, the next two weeks or, hopefully, less will be the longest of my life. It seems that our little Petal is boycotting delivery due to the typical freezing end of the world winter. No amount of coxing, begging, pleading, demanding or even singing has made a difference. Even the Butterfly and her favourite parent have had a go at trying to convince her out. The Mauritian even went so far as to give a running commentary one Sunday night about how to build a fire and how warm and comfy it made the whole house. The Petal responded by kicking me in the ribs and head banging my bladder instead. Of course with the prospect of being overdue comes all the recommendations and remedy suggestions for this malady know as overdueness. There are of course the most common ones like; sex, long walks or castor oil! Then there are the herbal remedies like Raspberry leaf tea or black or blue cohosh, even nettles was suggested. Someone told me to jump on a trampoline; another suggested a tractor ride across a paddock or run up a flight of stairs. Then there is that famous pregnancy book and its author’s weird ideas; “...try singing Happy birthday.” But my favourite remedy so far comes from a friend we lovingly call “Beast,” who during our weekly text said “Drink a bottle of coke, hold your breath and jump up and down, it might work!” If laughter was a remedy I would have gone into labour there and then.

I have always had a suspicion that the Petal would be overdue, I’m guessing because the Butterfly was also born “post” date. I always hoped she would be born before the Butterfly’s birthday and not after. But right from the start I was of the opinion that it’ll happen when it happens and I was prepared to wait it out because the longer the baby is in utero the better for them in so many ways. Then, at around thirty eight and bit weeks I decided one wet cold Monday night to attempt a belly flop on our front lawn. I mean that literarily, I somehow managed to trip over my feet and landed belly button first on our front lawn. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. In hindsight though I am very glad our porch light was out and that it was cold and there was no one around to see, I must have looked a sight I’m convinced I see-sawed back and forth on my belly once or twice too. I know you’re trying not to giggle, go ahead; the pictures in your head can’t be any worse then what’s in mine. Anyway after making sure there was no external or internal damage and after reassuring myself, my husband and my Butterfly that both myself and the Petal were fine I retired to the bathroom for a shower and some alone time to gather myself together.

I don’t think I’ve succeeded this time! Since the fall I’ve been a bit of an emotional wreck and completely unable to relax. Before the fall the Petals head had moved into the pelvic area preparing to engage, when I fell the one sensation I clearly remember was of her moving up. I confirmed this when I saw my midwife that week, she was unconcerned and tried to convince me it would have no bearing on the delivery date. I’m not so sure! So now, since that “fateful” Monday night I have been on edge and wanting things to be over with, every twinge or cramp brings me up short wondering what it was and why. Then every time it’s nothing I’m disappointed and upset. I’m waking up in the early hours of the morning and just lying there waiting for something to happen. Every time I have to go to see the midwife or the obstetrician I find it such a chore and hope she makes her appearance before the next appointment. Of course so far nothing has gone my way! I think my midwife was sorry she asked how I was yesterday because I told her in much detail. It went something like this: “I am constantly dropping things yet I can’t bend over to pick things up off the floor. I can’t see my feet or reach them to put my socks on or scrub them so I have cold dirty feet. My arms have shrunk so I battle to reach the kitchen counter or the stove. I have to get into a comfortable sleeping position as soon as I get into bed because once I’m there it is impossible to move without asking for help, and the Mauritian is no help when he’s asleep. I can’t sit on the sofa anymore because I can’t get up without pulling some stomach muscle so I sit on our exercise ball, even when we have guests. Nothing fits anymore except for my pjs, but I can’t take the Butterfly to “Kindy” in them now can I. My belly reaches my destination before me and the Butterfly gets mad when she can’t just jump in my lap and cuddle before bed. I’m growing weary of all these appointments, I’ve rearranged the nursery far too many times to count and I keep packing and unpacking my hospital bag. So yeah, I’m all good thanks it’s just that right now I would willingly trade the discomfort, uncertainty, appointments and waiting for freezing midnight feeds, sleep deprivation and a screaming new born!”

So hurry up Petal or as your God Father says: “Wake up now sunshine is on your face, you need no more than the light of day... the time is now...the world is waiting come and play”